It's and I can't sleep I'm awake and lying on the bed thinking...or am
I dreaming about all those things I never said.
Did you know how much I loved you? Did you know how much I cared? Had
I known how it would all end there would'nt have been so much time spared. Maybe I would have made you laugh or tried
to make you smile I might've told you how much you meant to me when I was just a child.
Who's to say, I cannot I
just know the words come now...
It's not what I said that counts it's what I should have said the keeps me up
at lying in the bed.
The span between life
Can be as quick and
As a puff of wind
That blows out a candle.
But the candle does
After darkness comes.
It is the person
Left in the dark room
Who gropes and stumbles.
~~ Helen Duke Fike
If tears could build
And memories a lane
We would walk all the
way to Heaven
To bring you home again
No farewell words were
No time to say goodbye
You were gone before
we knew it
And only God knows
Our hearts ache in
And secret tears still
What is meant to lose
No one will ever know.
Each day I die a thousand deaths Seeing your pale, too-quiet face. Knowing you won't warm me with your breaths I
am cold inside, gasping, strangling, Because you left your body dangling In a convenient place.
Again and again I rise From the ashes of my life. Wanting
to hold you, see light in your eyes, But my arms are empty, my eyes yearn still Because we buried your ashes on a hill With
your great-grandfather and his wife.
I wait for the time when I am old and so Leave the pain along
the way, Of wishing you had fought to see life flow To all the good times just ahead. But you wouldn't wait, and
I die instead A thousand times each day.
may have lost my brother, my sister, my parent, my child, my friend, my spouse, my partner
I am alive.
am a survivor of the dark night of unspeakable loss,
my own darkness...
I am alive.
am unwilling to stand idly by and allow shame to defeat love or silence to defeat action.
stand for the enlightenment of a society that would hide from suicide
I am alive.
am unwilling for my perseverance to be in vain. Unwilling for the passing of my loved one to be in shame.
loved them more then I loved myself and their life will have meaning in my action
a world blinded by the pursuit of pleasure, I am here to say that people are in pain.
a world rushing to get ahead, I am here to say that people are being left behind.
a world obsessed with the value of the market, I am here to speak for the value of life
I am alive. This will be no quiet fight.
am the voice of audacity in the face of apathy.
I am the spirit of bravery in a world of caution. I am a commitment of action
in the face of neutrality.
am out of the darkness....
am into the light and I am alive.
by Dan Pallotta at the Out of the Darkness
Awareness Walk in DC, August 2002
children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They come through you
but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you. You may give them your love but not your
thoughts. For they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell
in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not
to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far. Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as he loves
the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.
- Kahlil Gibran
from The Prophet
THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD
I dreamed I had an interview with God.
So you would like to interview
me? God asked.
If you have the time I said.
God smiled. My time is eternity. What questions do you have
in mind for me?
What surprises you most about humankind?
God answered... That they get bored with childhood, they
rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.
That they lose their health to make money... and then lose
their money to restore their health.
That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such
that they live in neither the present nor the future.
"That they live as if they will never die, and die as
though they had never lived.
Gods hand took mine and we were silent for a while.
And then I asked... As
a parent, what are some of lifes lessons you want your children to learn?
learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.
learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.
learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.
learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal
To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.
that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.
learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.
To learn that it is not enough that
they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.
"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.
there anything else you would like your children to know?"
God smiled and said, Just know that I am here...
Go placidly amid the noise and the haste and remember what peace there
may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly
and clearly, and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive
persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself to others you may become vain and bitter, for
always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep
interested in your career however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution
in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many
persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself, especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture the strength of spirit
to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue
and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less
than the trees and the stars: you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the
universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be; and whatever
your dreams and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul. With all its shams, drudgery
and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
- Max Erhmann
Break, break, break, On thy cold gray stones, O Sea! And I would that my tongue could utter
The thoughts that arise in me.
O, well for the fisherman's boy, That he shouts with his sister at play!
O, well for the sailor lad, That he sings
in his boat on the bay!
And the stately ships go on
To their haven under the hill; But O for the touch of
a vanish'd hand, And the sound of a voice that is still!
Break, break, break
At the foot of thy crags, O Sea! But the tender grace
of a day that is dead Will never come back to me.
Alfred Lord Tennyson
"Life is a series
of experiences, each one of which makes us bigger, even though sometimes it is hard to realize this. For the world was
built to develop character, and we must learn that the setbacks and grieves which we endure help us in our marching onward."
For everything there
is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant,
and a time to pluck up what is planted; a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build
up; a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; a time to cast away stones, and
a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; a time to seek, and a time
to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away; a time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and
a time to speak; a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace. What gain has the worker
from his toil?
Circumstances or people
can take away your material possessions,
they can take away your money,
and they can take away your health.
But no one can ever take away your precious
So, don't forget to make time and take the opportunities
to make memories everyday.
Please don't ask me if I'm over it yet.
I'll never get over it.
Please don't tell me he's in a better place.
He's not here with me.
Please don't say he isn't suffering any more.
I haven't come to terms of why he had to suffer at all.
Please don't tell me how you feel
Unless you've lost someone to suicide.
Please don't ask me if I feel better.
Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up.
Please don't tell me at least you had him for so many years.
What year would you like your brother to die?
Please don't tell me God never gives us more than we can bear.
Please just say you're sorry.
Please just say you remember my brother if you do.
Please mention my brother's name.
Please be patient with me when I am sad.
Please just let me cry.
"Elephant in the Room"
There's an elephant in the room It is
large and squatting, so it is hard to get around it. Yet we squeeze by with, "How are you?" and "I'm fine." And a thousand
other forms of trivial chatter. We talk about the weather. We talk about work. We talk about everything else-except
the elephant in the room.
There's an elephant in the room. We all
know it is there. We are thinking about the elephant as we talk. It is constantly on our minds. For you see, it is
a very big elephant. But we do not talk about the elephant in the room. Oh, please, say his name. Oh, please, say
"John" again. Oh, please, let's talk about the elephant in the room. For if we talk about his death, Perhaps we can
talk about his life.
Can I say "John" and not have you look away?
For if I cannot, you are leaving me Alone... In
a room... With an elephant.
At times our own light
goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has
cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.
ME, BUT LET ME GO
I come to the end of the road
the sun has set for me
want no rites in a gloom filled room
cry for a soul thats free?
me a little, but not too long
not with your head bowed low
the love that we once shared
Me, But Let Me Go
this is a journey that we all must take,
each must go alone
all a part of the Masters plan
step on the road to home
you are lonely and sick of heart,
to the friends we know
bury your sorrows in doing good deeds
Me, But Let Me Go
You are not here
any longer and l wonder now, time and time
and time again,
how l will ever come to terms with a space that
no longer contains
you. I cannot yet, for the life of me, imagine.
Perhaps it is true,
in a very cosmic sense that we came here from
some other place
only on loan to each other, to evolve and discover
what words we would
come to use about ourselves - the who and
what of us - all
that we struggled to uncover and become.
among other truths, I am left with a startling
is not the opposite losing. Keeping is.
And while l always
knew that I could not keep you forever, I
from wanting to.
Still, if the
purpose of love is to reveal us to ourselves and others,
then I will honor now, all that we achieved and the resultant
belief that the
expression of love is the most profound and
ever, and that love unspent is not love at
all, but fear. There is one more truth that l have discovered over
time and it is this:
allowed to nurture itself and go on
- sadness turns to rust.
I will not entertain
the thought that someone else can take your
But I will, when I am more finished
mourning you than
I am now, remember to open myself again,
necessary, to any signs of love at all -